Divorce process – What is the difference between amicable and conflict divorce? I will guide you through the stages – from the decision to the paperwork
Amicable or conflictual divorce? What awaits you and how to get through it with head and heart
The decision to divorce is one of the most difficult moments in life. Regardless of who made it – or whether it was the result of many quiet disappointments – the moment you start to tame it, questions arise: What’s next? What will it look like? Will I be able to cope?
At this point, it’s worth knowing that not every divorce looks the same. There are two main scenarios – and each one leads through different emotions and challenges.
Amicable divorce – when you can get along despite everything
Amicable divorce means that both parties are ready to work together. It may not mean that they like each other – but they are ready to set terms, share responsibilities for children, agree on property, alimony, how to communicate.
From a legal point of view – it’s faster, cheaper and definitely less grueling. From an emotional one – it still hurts, but you can go through it with more peace of mind and less anxiety.
If you have children, this way of parting helps them better endure the change. Children do not enter into a conflict of loyalties, because they see that the adults – even though they are parting – can still care for them together.
Conflict divorce – when every conversation is a minefield
It is not always possible to get along. Sometimes the other party is uncooperative, uses manipulation, emotional violence, or fights over everything “on principle.” Then divorce turns into a battle – sometimes many years. Cases go to court, involve lawyers, probation officers, experts.
In such situations, the biggest challenge is not to lose yourself/yourself. Emotions reach a zenith. Any letter from the court can cause anxiety. Every conversation – an attack. And if there are children, they often witness this struggle.
You don’t have to be strong/strong all the time then. But it’s important to know how to protect yourself emotionally, not get caught in a spiral of retaliation, and step by step build a new daily life, even if it seems far away today.
What does divorce look like from a legal standpoint?
Divorce in Poland begins with the filing of a petition to the district court. The petition indicates whether it is to be a divorce with or without a judgment of guilt. The issue of child custody, alimony, contact and possible division of property must also be specified.
If the parties are in agreement, the case may end in a single hearing. However, if there is a conflict – especially over children or fault – the process can take months or even years.
The court examines whether there has been a permanent and complete breakdown of marital relations. It also takes into account the welfare of joint children – which means that sometimes it is not you, but the court that will decide what “will be better” for the child.
And what does this process look like? Step by step
Although every divorce is different, there are common stages:
- Decision – sometimes sudden, sometimes mature for years. It is a moment of internal tearing, full of anxiety, sadness, but also relief.
- Conversation with a partner – for many the most difficult. Here emotions already play a major role.
- Formalities – choice of mode (amicable/conflictual), preparation of a lawsuit, possible mediation.
- The hearing – it may be one, but sometimes it takes months or years.
- New daily life – putting life back together. Co-parenting, loneliness, new identity.
Each of these stages requires different strengths. Sometimes courage, sometimes calmness. Sometimes – simply the presence of someone who will help you get through a difficult day and regain clarity in the chaos.
Divorce is not just a legal process. It is a life reset. One can go through it in anger, chaos and struggle. And you can – though it takes effort – with mindfulness, a plan and support. If you’re in this place, you deserve to get through it with dignity. And with someone beside you. Even if it’s just a quiet voice that says: “This is not the end. This is the beginning.”
